Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
