yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
