I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she smelled like a LAN party
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize