I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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