If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
