I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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