I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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