Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
