i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize