haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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