What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I said "one day" and that day is not today
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
