the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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