Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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