i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
