Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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