4 words: hood of his car
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
