i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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