Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Too much gin, very little bucket
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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