omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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