I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
