C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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