VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
