well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
