I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
