My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
