Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
