before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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