I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
