4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you still have your period?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
