whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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