My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize