So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize