who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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