Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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