You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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