I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
