Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
