dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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