this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
