he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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