Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
