Plan B is the new Plan A
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
