I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
