Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
