ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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