Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
