my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
