my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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