Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
