Tell her she can't have a vagina
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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