I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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