The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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