based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
These tits shall not be calmed
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
