Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
