Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
