Im at strip club and am horny
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She is in my trunk
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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