Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
