We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
