Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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