So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize