everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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