Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
