Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
