I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
